Defending Utah and Her Alleged 2014 Googling of an Indecent Emma Watson

By March 18, 2015SEO

Our SEO wizardry is based in Utah. Our employees live in Utah. Freaking heck, we love Utah. That being said, we recognize that if you took each and every American state and lined them up side by side on a playground and had Barack and Michelle start choosing sides for a figurative game of patriotic dodgeball, it’d be safe to assume that Utah—in our minds the greatest, most unique of territories in the Union—would probably be chosen last. Well, actually that’d probably be Mississippi. She’s way overweight and pretty dang illiterate. Whatever, you get the point.

It’s often said that you can’t judge a book by it’s cover. With that in mind, you shouldn’t judge a state by it’s most Googled terms either; except in Maryland where the phrase “Pharrell Hat” won out. That’s just weird and that hat’s as ugly as sin.

With dirty minivans, families of 12+ people and those homely looking sister wives that sometimes stroll into Walmart on the weekends abounding within our home state’s borders, it’s no surprise that we’ve got a bit of SEO-driven explaining to do.

In fact, as of 2014, Utah’s top searched phrase was “Emma Watson nude.” As SEO specialists, we’re ashamed of what’s occurred, but feel that a reasonable explanation might be available.

Truthfully, the reasoning for what happened may very well be found in Massachusetts’ most searched item: “Emma Watson Speech.” Coincidence? Possibly, but on September 21 of 2014, the booming actress gave a moving speech to the UN on a fight for gender equality. In the aftermath of said speech, she became the victim of a hoax involving alleged nude photos.

Listen, we recognize that we’ve got some room for moralistic improvement, but all of us do. Next time, before you go stereotyping the SEO snot out of Utah, remember that she’s about as dope as they come.